Headlines
These are often the subject of much personal angst. I read them.....sometimes, I even read the articles they lead to. Though not often. When I do, the article usually bears little resemblance to the headline.
Now, one thing a headline is supposed to do is attract one's attention. One of the problems with today's headlines is that the attention they are trying to attract provides the base for how the headline is worded. Too often, they read like a drunken gradeschooler's attempt at obscene graffitti.
But sometimes they are just funny. Like today, from the MSN page:
Obama plans vast public works projects: hmmmm, well, that is certainly eye catching. However, it would have interested me a lot more had it been about Obama's private works projects. Because I know -- and you should, too -- that he has some. As did McCain. Think about it; who in their right mind would have wanted the job of American President in these times if they didn't have something planned that would result in personal gain? Or....are you one of the 'Messiah' believers? If so, there is this religious image in the old ' Black Sambo' logos that you just GOTTA see.
Pair of mysterious feet matched in Canada : oh, now, THIS one I had to read. Okay, it referred back to the grisly find of, if I recall right, six pairs of feet fished from the ocean off the coast of -- well, someplace in Canada. This was quite a while ago. In a triumph of modern forensic research, they have finally matched two of the feet as belonging to one person. Brilliant work. Could lead to a new profession. After all, it is allegedly known that human bodies submerged in the ocean will after a time become separated from it's limbs. The ocean may be full of random human limbs. There could be a reality series in this, so pay attention. It is said that the pair they matched as coming from the same person were clad in 'New Balance' brand running shoes. Perhaps this was a Obama supporter who thought that they, too, could walk on water. Victim of the 'apostle' complex. This, too, could become a new profession for therapists. Dr. Phil could expand his already unlicensed practice.
Amsterdam plans to close marijuana cafes, sex shops : Okay, this one just pisses me off. This is the one thing, the only thing, that renders The Netherlands interesting to me. But, hark! The headline is a bit misleading. They are not going to close ALL of them; just some. To comply with a government ruling of this year. A ruling, I might add, that seemed a bit odd at the time. Still does. However, it does seem that, even in such a open societal atmosphere, organized crime gained a foothold. Gee....there's a shock, eh? Or....maybe that's just me. Anyway, the closures are going to be targeting just those that rperesent the 'criminal' element. Damn....if it's that easy to separate the two, maybe Amsterdam should hold seminars for the agencies of all other nations, especially here in the USA where law enforcement can't seem to find the bad guys even if their faces are painted in Da-Glo orange. At any rate, Amsterdam will still have it's hookers and it's grass.....whew! The world may be going to shit, but there is still hope and common sense somewhere.
Ah, mysterious feet. Sorry, that just renders so many images in my mind. Whoever would have thought a foot could be mysterious? 'Hey, dude, those are sure some mysterious feet ya got there. Where'd ya find 'em?'. 'Floating in the ocean.'. 'No shit? Feet float? No wonder no one can keep their heads above water these days!'.
Last, while I am happy that Amsterdam will still have legal prostitution, I am at the same time sad, as I still can't afford even the ones in Nevada. I sure as Hell can't afford to go to Amsterdam just for 30 seconds. Well, wait....it's cold there....I might last 2 or 3 minutes.
Now, one thing a headline is supposed to do is attract one's attention. One of the problems with today's headlines is that the attention they are trying to attract provides the base for how the headline is worded. Too often, they read like a drunken gradeschooler's attempt at obscene graffitti.
But sometimes they are just funny. Like today, from the MSN page:
Obama plans vast public works projects: hmmmm, well, that is certainly eye catching. However, it would have interested me a lot more had it been about Obama's private works projects. Because I know -- and you should, too -- that he has some. As did McCain. Think about it; who in their right mind would have wanted the job of American President in these times if they didn't have something planned that would result in personal gain? Or....are you one of the 'Messiah' believers? If so, there is this religious image in the old ' Black Sambo' logos that you just GOTTA see.
Pair of mysterious feet matched in Canada : oh, now, THIS one I had to read. Okay, it referred back to the grisly find of, if I recall right, six pairs of feet fished from the ocean off the coast of -- well, someplace in Canada. This was quite a while ago. In a triumph of modern forensic research, they have finally matched two of the feet as belonging to one person. Brilliant work. Could lead to a new profession. After all, it is allegedly known that human bodies submerged in the ocean will after a time become separated from it's limbs. The ocean may be full of random human limbs. There could be a reality series in this, so pay attention. It is said that the pair they matched as coming from the same person were clad in 'New Balance' brand running shoes. Perhaps this was a Obama supporter who thought that they, too, could walk on water. Victim of the 'apostle' complex. This, too, could become a new profession for therapists. Dr. Phil could expand his already unlicensed practice.
Amsterdam plans to close marijuana cafes, sex shops : Okay, this one just pisses me off. This is the one thing, the only thing, that renders The Netherlands interesting to me. But, hark! The headline is a bit misleading. They are not going to close ALL of them; just some. To comply with a government ruling of this year. A ruling, I might add, that seemed a bit odd at the time. Still does. However, it does seem that, even in such a open societal atmosphere, organized crime gained a foothold. Gee....there's a shock, eh? Or....maybe that's just me. Anyway, the closures are going to be targeting just those that rperesent the 'criminal' element. Damn....if it's that easy to separate the two, maybe Amsterdam should hold seminars for the agencies of all other nations, especially here in the USA where law enforcement can't seem to find the bad guys even if their faces are painted in Da-Glo orange. At any rate, Amsterdam will still have it's hookers and it's grass.....whew! The world may be going to shit, but there is still hope and common sense somewhere.
Ah, mysterious feet. Sorry, that just renders so many images in my mind. Whoever would have thought a foot could be mysterious? 'Hey, dude, those are sure some mysterious feet ya got there. Where'd ya find 'em?'. 'Floating in the ocean.'. 'No shit? Feet float? No wonder no one can keep their heads above water these days!'.
Last, while I am happy that Amsterdam will still have legal prostitution, I am at the same time sad, as I still can't afford even the ones in Nevada. I sure as Hell can't afford to go to Amsterdam just for 30 seconds. Well, wait....it's cold there....I might last 2 or 3 minutes.
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